Counselling 

There are four primary attachment styles: secure, avoidant, preoccupied (anxious), and disorganized. Secure attachment arises from having needs met consistently (enough) during childhood, fostering a sense of safety and trust in the world and in other humans. In contrast, insecure attachment styles develop when needs are consistently unmet. Avoidant attachment results from unmet needs leading to self-reliance, preoccupied attachment from intensified attempts to get needs met, and disorganized attachment from caregivers being sources of danger.

My study of the Adult Attachment Interview in Japan (2018) significantly deepened my understanding of attachment theory. I learned that attachment is not monolithic; a person can exhibit different attachment styles in different contexts. This nuanced understading enables me to tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's unique needs, session to session. 

My approach to issues like insecure attachment, trans-generational trauma, and family conflict is systemic. I examine the family as a whole rather than focusing solely on the individual. This systemic lens reveals how family dynamics shape behaviors and attachment styles. For instance, immigration can profoundly impact subsequent generations. By understanding these dynamics, I help clients navigate and move forward in a positive way from complex family legacies.

When working with individuals, I focus on their attachment style(s) and how this influences their relationships, including the one with themselves. In couples counselling, I consider each partner's individual attachment style(s) as well as how these styles interact within the couple. My objective is to help couples understand  each other. Empowering them to speak each other's "relationship language". This personalized approach strengthens their bond and fosters mutual understanding.

Clients often experience profound transformations when they develop a secure attachment to themselves. This self-connection allows them to engage more authentically in relationships and navigate life with greater confidence. By helping clients understand and meet their own needs, they are empowered to break free from outdated narratives and build healthier, more fulfilling connections. 

I value client feedback and encourage open dialogue. Disagreement with me is welcomed, you are the expert in your own life. My role is to offer informed guidance while respecting clients' perspectives. This collaborative approach ensures that therapy remains client-centered and responsive to individual needs. 

Clients can expect a warm, welcoming, yet challenging environment. Research shows that the client-therapist connection is crucial for successful outcomes. I strive to be genuine and transparent, helping clients determine if I am the right fit for their journey. My ultimate goal is to support clients in finding the best therapeutic match, whether with me or another therapist.